LOW SELF-ESTEEM

"In American culture, high self-esteem is seen as being the basis for career success and good relationships with other people. Feeling good about oneself is presented as a highly desirable goal that is worth sacrificing for. Low self-esteem, on the other hand, is obviously undesirable. If our focus is our own failures and inadequacies, we'll be immobilized by self-pity or self-hatred. High self-esteem is equally undesirable, however, and that can be seen in its effects. High self-esteem means comparing your value to others' and finding yourself superior. It makes us arrogant, selfish, and difficult to be with.

Families are torn apart as the members work to feel better about themselves, ignoring the cost. Recognizing the undesirability of too high or too low an opinion of ourselves, many of us try for a middle ground. Unfortunately, it's an unstable position. We oscillate between feeling good about ourselves and feeling bad. Our successes elevate our self-esteem, and our failures (or sometimes others' successes) lower it. It's a roller-coaster ride.

If high self-esteem isn't good, low self-esteem isn't good, and middling self-esteem is impossible, what are we to do? We need to get off the roller-coaster altogether. We need to stop trying to determine our own worth. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. We are not in a position to judge our own value--or anyone else's. We can't see ourselves or others accurately. Lives are far too complicated, and we are far too biased--whether for or against ourselves. What I think about myself really has no meaning at all--and it changes from day to day anyway. What matters is who I actually am, who I am in the eyes of the One who created me."  (quoted by permission from www.runningempty.com)

Most of us experience low self-esteem at some point in our lives. But for some people, low self-esteem can become a recurring and crippling cycle that prevents them from enjoying everyday activities. Loss of self-esteem can occur at any time, and often occurs following a job loss, a separation or a divorce. With the help of a psychologist, you may be able to overcome some of the negative thought processes that keep you from moving on. Brenda will work with you to help resolve some of the emotional, cognitive and behavioral issues that may be keeping you from moving forward with your life.